Friday, April 16, 2010

What to do what to wear?

So, I'm truggling with my creativity. What do I want to do first? Make beads, paint jars with my kids, make a quilt, knit, write poetry, or repurpose a shirt? I just don't know one thig is clear how ever I've got to bring that desk into the house. I know it was given to me to use for the girl's bed room but there simply isn't room for anything like that in there. I know I can make room for it in the living room and it'll also be a perfect little station to do all my handy crafts, sewing, writing, and if I ever get any money printing. I'm thinking I might even give my photography another try. After all isn't the point to being a good artist is to find all the differnt outlets in the world that one can? I may not be as wonderfully talented as some or as perfectionist as my grandmother. But I am good at what I do. Or at least I think I like it. I just wish someone out there besides myself would see it. I'm trying really hard to become who I wanted to be at 15 and 16 years old. I want my spark back I want to be Jami again. But it's becoming ahrder and harder to find. I keep seeing what I want to put out in my head I just don't have the resources to do so. I don't have anyone to help me gather these resources either. It's not like when I was younger all I had to do was ask I have more important adult things to do. Like pay the water bill or the electric bill. Get the tags on my van so that it can sit in the driveway with no gas in it because I have no money. *Sigh* money, why don't i ust get a real job? hey I'd like that but unfortunately I can't even find that in this town. I really want to move. Pack up my children and leave here. where whould I go? I don't know I could think of a few places but, I still need to have money to do that. God, why does it always fall bck onto money. I'll figure this all out, soon and make my life much more peaceful. Soon...


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